AvantGardeGORDON'S TAPE [THIS IS EVIL] GORDON: Okay. Probably one of the sickest things I ever did was one night I was coming home--and it was one of the things I wanted to do more than anything else.. um, I felt that it would free me from all this. It's a feeling that you get. . . . It's a feeling that you get. I had this whole thing about wanting to fuck um, a hag, a witch, no. A bag lady. Somebody totally crazy, totally ugly, somebody totally dirty. . . No, no. Just dirty and ugly is not enough. Dirty and ugly. Is okay. Dirty and ugly is okay for just a blow job and that's it. But for fucking, no, I don't think I could. I couldn't fuck someone totally dirty and ugly. But insane. Yes. So there I am waiting for the bus. I'm sitting there talking to this guy. This Black guy's talking to me about how if I have a little extra money I can get some fine pussy down the street. And I told him that I didn't pay for it, and I don't like the idea of paying for it. So I get on the bus. And while I'm on the bus, I look forward and there's this woman whose got hair like Little Richard. And she's got make-up smeared all over her face. There's something about her. She looks as though she's happy. She was attractive in a way. She had nice features on her face, but something about her was completely insane. And I thought. . . this is something I've always wanted. So I slid over to the seat, right in back of her. What I did was, I was just sort of checking out the situation. This was about 3 in the morning. But, so, ah, at that point I had only one idea in my mind and one idea only. I wanted to sleep with this. . . I mean I wanted to fuck her. Sleeping, no. Fucking her. Then I heard her sort of talk to herself. And so then I moved on over to her seat and sat down next to her. I said, "You know what? You're really beautiful." And she said, "Ohhh, god. Really?" I said, "Yeah, I think you're gorgeous." I said, "Why don't you come back to my place?" And she said, "Tch. Got any caviar and champagne?" I said, "Yeah, I 've got caviar and champagne." And I kissed her on the bus. We were kissing on the bus. Yeah. And by that time, I had red stuff all over my face too. What about the other people on the bus? I'm never gonna see these people on the bus again. Part of it's the safety of it. No one's gonna get involved. People are really scared on public transportation. You know. It's claustrophobic. Not that I'm threatening. I wasn't at all threatening. So we get off at my stop. And then what I do is to walk her to my apartment which is just a block away. We walk up the six flights of stairs. She comes in. And she wants to know where the caviar and champagne is. Well, I don't have caviar and champagne. I have champale and hardboiled eggs. I looked at her. So I said, "Why don't you go in and take a bath, if you'd like." I would prefer if she did. And she says, "Yes, I think I will." And then I came in and we were sort of making out there in the bathroom. And then we went to bed. And as I remember, when we were in bed and then we started fucking, things were really good. She was there for a while. She went, "Mmm, comon' gimme somethin', comon' gimme somethin', gimme some uh-huh." And then I'll tell ya. Then while I was fucking her, she started talking to herself. Sometimes there were just sounds, and there were-- words. So, at one point I stopped fucking her and she went, "Raar!" (She roared.) And I said, "What is it?" She says, " I'm talkin' to the devil. I'm talkin' to the devil!" It freaked me out for a while. And then I fucked her again. Page 29